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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29321865">it will haunt you (forever)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornhearts/pseuds/tornhearts'>tornhearts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempts, fluff because im depressed, newt is a softie wbk, there is assault but it isn't descriptive, this is quite depressing to be honest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:08:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29321865</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornhearts/pseuds/tornhearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me what happened, Y/N."<br/>"I can't, Newt. You will never understand what I went through- and i can't let you see me that way."<br/>"Let me try. I love you, isn't that enough?"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Newt (Maze Runner)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it will haunt you (forever)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>work title inspired by haunt me (x3) by teen suicide<br/>i hope there is no mistakes!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was raining. That was what made it worse. The rain could stop, when it wanted to. The rain was free. The rain wasn't trapped between <em>him </em>and the back wall of the maze, somewhere in the forest. As y/n was frozen, the rain kept pouring. Down her face, in her hair, down her unclothed front and down the back of his dirty t-shirt. Y/n's still body cursed against the droplets, melting into her skin with a burning sensation as all she could think of was when it would be over. Why her? Yes, she was the only girl in the Glade, but surely, surely she didn't deserve this? Or did she? Did the creators think this was what she deserved? Maybe it was. Maybe he was sent here just to do this to her. Still, she was blank-faced, her body unresponsive, not even realising when he was gone. She felt nothing, as she slowly slid down the wall and collapsed onto the harsh, wet grass beneath her. Her eyes closed as her arms fell around her legs, her scratched, bleeding legs. Her mind was empty now, all instincts for survival gone. She was truly numb. </p><p>It had probably been hours when she heard her name being called throughout the Glade. The rain had stopped, for now. That was her only reward. She still didn't move, her hands trembling around her ankles. </p><p>"Y/N?" the familiar voice shouted.</p><p>Newt.</p><p>His voice aroused a feeling in her, relief, probably. Comfort. Escape. His screams for her were getting closer and closer, his footsteps too. She heard him turn towards her, hearing her sniffles and quick, quiet breaths.</p><p>"y/n?" He said quietly.</p><p>"Newt..." she replied, a hoarse whisper exiting her throat. He sensed her immediately, despite the low volume of her desperate reply. He ran towards her.</p><p>"Y/n, what the fuck happened? Let me help you-"</p><p>"Don't come near me. Please- I-" she pleaded, flinching as he reached his arm near her.</p><p>"What happened? You're bleeding- we need to get you inside. Away from the cold." </p><p>"I- He-" she replied, Newt looking more confused by the second. He hadn't even noticed the state her clothing was in, her torn shorts, her shirt wide open. When he did, his eyes flew wide, the realisation hitting him like a truck.</p><p>"Who did this to you, y/n?" He bent down on his knees, whispering, trying to stay calm but failing to hide the obvious rage on his face.</p><p>"Jack."</p><p>"The greenie? When I get my hands on him I swear to God, y/n-" he began.</p><p>"Newt, please. I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>"Sorry. Can i at least carry you to my room? I doubt you can walk and I am not letting you sleep in a hammock next to stupid fucking teenage boys like him." Y/n nodded, taking in a sharp breath as his arms wrapped around her broken form, sobs releasing from her moments after he picked her up.</p><p>"I'm so, so sorry, y/n." He whispered, his voice wavering with the pain he felt for her as he made his way through the forest, "I should have been there to protect you like i promised." She shook her head in response, unable to reply from the sobs taking over her.</p><p>Newt carried her out of the trees, past Minho and Thomas, who shared a look of fear between them at the state on the girl in his arms. He limped towards the homestead, a slow crowd of boys forming behind him, following. Alby caught Newt's eyes, narrowing at the sight.</p><p>"Jack. Find him." Newt mouthed, a quick nod from Alby in return. He kicked open his bedroom door, walking towards his bed and laying her down on it. </p><p>"We need to get you cleaned up, love." He said hoarsely, a slight, hopeful smile on his face. Y/n looked up at him, searching for something, <em>anything. </em>She wanted to believe he was cruel. Evil. Somehow, the thought of him wanting to hurt her wasn't so hard so process as him being genuinely kindhearted, and wanting to relieve her pain as best he could. She knew Newt would never hurt her. She knew it, but she couldn't believe it. Every single day he reminded her how beautiful she was, how he made her feel, but now, that was all worthless. She didn't feel beautiful, and she wasn't good enough for him, especially not now.</p><p>"Will you let me change you?" His words snapped her out of her thoughts.</p><p>"Do you promise you won't hurt me?" she whispered.</p><p>"I promise." he replied. His heart ached for her. He hated that she had to <em>ask</em> him to promise not to hurt her. Jack was going to fucking suffer.</p><p>"Okay." </p><p>"Let me go get a wet towel. I'll be back in a second." he said.</p><p>"Please don't let anyone come in." She begged.</p><p>"Of course." He walked over to her on the bed and placing his lips lightly on her forehead. "I love you." he whispered against her skin. </p><p>"I love you too." She replied, holding back her sobs for when he left the room.</p><p> </p><p>"Newt, what's going on?" A voice said when he left his bedroom.</p><p>"Chuck? What are you doing here?" Newt questioned.</p><p>"Alby said something had happened to y/n, and i wanted to make sure she was alright. Will she be at work tomorrow?"</p><p>"I don't think so, bud. She... she's sick. But i'm gonna make her better, okay?"</p><p>"Okay. Will you tell her i hope she feels better? I'm gonna make her a wood figure of her favourite flower in the garden. Do you think she will like it?" He smiled.</p><p>"She'll love it." Newt replied, "Can you tell Alby to come and wait outside my room while I get something? I need to see him." Chuck nodded, running off in the direction of the first in command.</p><p> </p><p>When Newt returned with the towel, Alby was waiting by the door. </p><p>"Is she okay?" He asked.</p><p>"Fuck no she isn't. Do you know what he did to her, Alby? Cause i sure don't. She's been so hurt by him she doesn't even trust me anymore. I'm going to kill him."</p><p>"We're putting him in the Maze."</p><p>"Everyone agreed to that?" He said in surprise.</p><p>"Everyone loves y/n, and he's just a Greenie anyway. He did break a rule. He's also a huge dick, even Gally hated him." Alby chuckled.</p><p>"I don't want y/n working for at least a week. I probably won't be working either. I need to make sure she's okay." Newt faintly smiled. Alby nodded and left.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm back, love." He said as he entered his bedroom. She was still lying in the same position as he left her in, staring at the ceiling. </p><p>"Chuck said he hopes you feel better. We told him you're sick. Alby says you won't be working for a week or so, too." Y/n smiled at the mention of Chuck. He was too sweet, he didn't deserve to be in a place like this.</p><p>"I'm gonna change you and clean you up, okay?" He whispered, and she nodded lightly. He slowly pulled down her clothes off of her body, taking the wet towel to the places where blood, dirt and tears were engrained into her skin. Every time he touched her she flinched, but he reassured her it was him, she was safe, and he loved her. Her relentless tears were still coming down, and Newt struggled battling his own tears himself. This was his fault. If he had been there, if he wasn't breaking up some stupid fight between the boys, he would have been there to stop it. If she wasn't working by herself with Jack in the gardens, she would have been safe. </p><p>"Newt, it wasn't your fault." She spoke.</p><p>"y/n, if i was there-"</p><p>"You're here now."</p><p>"You shouldnt be the one reassuring me, y/n. I'm supposed to be looking after you." His voice broke as he spoke.</p><p>"Newt-"</p><p>"Let's get you some clothes, yeah? You can wear some of mine so you're comfortable." He avoided the conversation at hand, speeding towards the chest of drawers. He dug through, finding an old shirt from when he was first in the Glade, and a loose pair of sweatpants. </p><p>"Can you stand up for me?" He asked and she slowly obliged. He brushed her wet hair back as he pulled the shirt over her head and arms. He was careful when he pulled the sweatpants up her legs, her body going stiff at the contact. His heart dropped.</p><p>"Will you hold me?" She mumbled. He smiled and led her towards his bed. She lay down, her hands resting next to her tear-stained cheeks, Newt slowly coming behind her, enveloping her body in his. His arms slid under her side, grasping her close to him. This chin lay in the crook of her neck, trying his best to fight back the overwhelming pain he felt for her. Her broken body was in his hands, her empty heart beating right with his.</p><p>"Tell me what happened, y/n." He whispered.</p><p>""I can't, Newt. You will never understand what I went through- and i can't let you see me that way. With <em>him."</em></p><p><em>"</em>Let me try. I love you, isn't that enough?" he pleaded, "Let me share your pain."</p><p>"I can't." She sighed.</p><p>"Did i ever tell you what happened when I jumped?" She turned, her face now aligned with his. His eyes were closed, tears streaming down his face too. His lips were quivering, slightly. She moved her hands to his cheeks, cradling his frail face.</p><p>"I was so alone. I was surrounded by what, 20 other guys? But I was so alone. I felt so guilty, when you came up in the box. You looked so afraid, I wanted to just hold you. I knew i loved you then." She smiled at his words.</p><p>"I was so jealous, when you spoke to the other guys. I thought nothing good would ever happen to me. Every night, I would sit in the watchtower, looking down at you, doing your final checks before you slept. I saw the time you snuck food in the Slammer for Gally when he got in a fight with Ben, even though he was never nice to you. I would pray that one day, you would be mine." He chuckled.</p><p>"Cliche." She whispered. He laughed.</p><p>"When I walked into the maze, i thought of you. I told myself I shouldnt be doing this. because it would hurt you. When I fell, I immediately regretted it because I knew the pain I would cause you."</p><p>"Newt-"</p><p>"When Minho found me, and you came, I could only think of how sorry I was. The look on your face when you saw me was horrible. When you were trying to fix my shucked up leg, I was so disappointed in myself. How could I have done this to you?" He shook his head.</p><p>"When i saw you, i realised how much i loved you." She said.</p><p>"I heard you say it, when you thought I was asleep."</p><p>"I told Alby what happened. When I said i loved you, he said he knew. Apparently I wasn't a very good secret keeper." She giggled.</p><p>"Well, you kept it from me well enough." He returned with a smile.</p><p>"Y/n, you need to let me in. Let me take your burdens away from you. Please." He begged. She took in a deep breath, his thumb swiping under her eye, ridding her face of the tears that were steadily beginning to flow. </p><p>"He told me he needed to show me something. I shouldnt have followed him. I suggested getting Alby, if it was important, but he said only I should see it. When he dragged me away, I turned around, watching you doing your jobs. It made me smile, watching you." She started.</p><p>"I should have known something was wrong when he took me into the forest. I shouldnt be so trusting, really."</p><p>"It wasn't your fault." He insisted.</p><p>"Once we got in really deep, he grabbed my arm. I told him to stop, I asked him what he was doing, but he didn't say anything. He just pushed me against the wall," She winced at the memory, "When he tore- when he tore my clothes, he said to me, 'can Newt save you now?' he kept repeating it, like some kind of torture. He told me it didn't matter if I screamed, because nobody wanted me. He said they wouldn't care, that the boys would do this to me too if they had the chance. He told me i was lucky. Lucky that he was nice enough to give me what I <em>wanted.</em>" she sobbed at her words, and Newt just held her tighter. He was lost for words. </p><p>"When he was done with me, he just left. He didn't say a word-" She was interrupted by the familiar boy's screams.</p><p>"Don't put me in there! I didn't do anything wrong, she wanted it anyway. She's a slut." Jack screamed. Newt's body tensed. They were trapping him in the maze. He wasn't a runner, he was a greenie- he didn't know his way around that place. He wouldn't last.</p><p>At least that was reassuring.</p><p>"I felt so empty. When he was done. I just fell to the floor. I don't know how long I was out there for. I just wanted you to come and find me. To bring me home." She sobbed.</p><p>"You are home, now. I'm never going to let anybody hurt you ever again, okay? I promise. When we get out of here, this stupid, stupid place, and we get to whatever paradise is out there, nobody is ever going to hurt you." He smiled.</p><p>"I love you, Newt." She whispered, closing her eyes, pressing her lips softly against his. When they finally tore apart, he put his lips to her ear, and replied,</p><p>"<em>I know</em>."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i miss newt so badly. nothing better than writing depressing fanfiction about my favourite dead fictional character to distract me from my emotions!</p><p>I hope this is written well, i havent experienced this myself but i did experience something similar when i was young, so i took some thoughts from that and put it into this.<br/>hope you enjoyed &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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